I lost consciousness once and I remember that people were busy around me. This statement is contradictory to say the least! Yet it is the experience that almost every person has who has this type of experience following an accident of any kind, the so-called near death experience (NDE).
In my case I was barely seven years old and I was under a car from which I got up and from where I walked home some 60 meters away, with the broken femur, repeating over and over again. who wanted to hear me: my leg! my leg! I finally collapsed.
I was not then clinically dead or at least I imagine. Still, I was witness to a hubbub around me. This event undoubtedly triggered the idea of "life after death" and of a long and slow journey, a suave quest for the meaning to be given to this observation. I hardly ever told anyone about it because I didn't make a big deal out of it and at least one person I knew was totally an atheist and materialist described to me an even more explicit scenario than mine that he had experienced in a serious car accident where in addition to his own life he almost lost those of his wife and children.
It is only now that it comes back to me at the untimely end of a night's sleep that actually ended with this surprise. It must be said that I have all my time for such an impression to sow in me the idea of thinking about it barely awake.
It is not nothing to have all this time because it is perhaps the realization of a key moment in my existence. I always feel like I've never been quite in my body, to the point of finding what is called life often downright absurd, to the point where I've basically always been rebellious, unable to fully function. as was required of me, as much as of my peers. And this is perhaps my great misfortune because I have always been flabbergasted by the ability of others to comply with what is required of them.
The fundamental question has always been more or less this: what is the point of all this? I do not think I am very original with this type of questioning but most people do not especially want to ask it and those who ask themselves often end up putting an end to their life or sometimes fall into fanaticism. So how did I get through the pitfalls of this absurd life? Well, precisely because I found my answers. In fact, they were given to me like a mother bird give food to its chicks, as my mother would have said. I was sort of extremely lucky because just eight years after that car accident, I was being taught most of what I needed to know, like a seed. It's up to me to make it fruitful.
I even rebelled against this revelation, this apprenticeship and it took me almost 50 years to come to terms with it, that is to say accept it. All my progress during these 50 years will have served to test in every way what I learned from this auto mechanics teacher who the previous year had kicked me out of his course several times because I despised him and disturbed his classroom. This is to say to what extent we are sometimes wrong.
I come from a so-called Catholic background and unlike my sister who the previous year frightened me with her training in cathechism, I was part of the first post-Vatican II cohort, the one that was going to move from cathechism to cathechesis. At the time I was so enthusiastic about Church and religion that I became an altar boy! It must be said that my father also served me as a model because he was involved up to his neck in the workings of the parish, to the point of being the project manager of the construction of a new church for our parish of The Good Shepherd, the aptly named. The culmination of my involvement was undoubtedly the mass dedicated to the fiftieth wedding anniversary of my grandparents where obviously then ten years old, I was assistant to the parish priest, a parish priest whom I admired, like an affable and stout father with a deep and gentle voice. However, I gradually lost my interest in religious matters and eventually moved on to other activities.
This rite of passage is however not trivial and it is with hindsight that I realize what this period was like. When I was eight or nine I was allowed to leave home to go and serve mass. The church was about ¾ of a mile from my house. Then I would just come home soon after. I was made responsible and I took responsibility without knowing it. This notion of responsibility would not have occurred to me. It was quite natural, like a small animal that must learn to live in its environment. It didn't occur to me that I had to be responsible. It's innate. But that's what we humans say socially: empower ourselves. Besides, seeing parents today accompany their children everywhere, I wonder to what extent the notion of accountability would not have lost some of its meaning. So much protection.
I'm more of the technician type and my questioning is always one of the purposes: what's the point? This is the case with the meaning of existence: what is it for? Because seeing my entourage gesticulate, I can only ask myself all the time, what is the point? Humans are utterly hopeless. I still haven't figured out why most of them do what they do. I'm not going to dwell on that. It has little interest. It's not something I want to understand after 50 years. Obviously I understand that very well. I know everything there is to know about the functioning of the human species at the beginning of the 21st century. This is why it is not very interesting, even boring in the end. Childish. And It is thanks to a great serenity that I can moreover overcome all the heap of everyday absurdities which I witness helplessly. In this I am no better than anyone. "There's nothing we can do about it".
Back on topic. This early experience of awareness of existence outside the body served as a stepping stone for my subsequent existence. Well, I didn't jump very high. I mostly hovered. Besides, I had a friend at one time called Justin Plané. Just in Plane. Most of my life I have been doing it. I did what I was asked to do. Without much conviction. I had to exist like everyone else. In this I have no originality. I do not try to distinguish myself as a great scientist. What I know, what I perceive is a slow process. And if I were to charge a fee for this apprenticeship, it would be in the order of a million dollars an hour. After all there is 50 years of research behind it.
In leaving, let's say that I'm not too interested in the reflections of a certain Richard Dawkins for whom all the evolution is only the simple fruit of chance. In this he and the neo-Darwinians are laughable. They have made a hypothesis about which they have no proof. It doesn't hold. I am resolutely closer to Anne Dambricourt, paleoanthropologist at the Museum of Natural History in Paris. It was through a radio interview that I discovered her a little over 20 years ago and what she said will serve as a basis for explaining what I have learned in parallel. Her research is the keystone, a beginning of scientific understanding of what is the evolution of life and of the different species.We can't limit ourselves to that, but scientific advances in many areas should use her research to establish a better understanding of how the whole works. I had the pleasure of spending almost a week with her a mere six months after this radio interview 3000 miles away.
I have an analysis grid, an analysis grid, let's say cosmic for short, and everything must be gauged against this grid otherwise it does not work. As I wrote above, I am a technician and the notions of spirituality, religion, science are an integral part of my approach. There is no incompatibility between notions of spirituality and notions of science. There is complementarity. I am pushing the envelope to say that everyone is right and that no one is entirely right. We must show intellectual humility in all areas which is not I might say the turf of individuals who flounder in various affirmative and presumptuous ways in this world.
I don't claim to have the whole truth at all, only the truth, nothing but the truth! This is my vision based on this original knowledge, followed by study, research, observation and reflections on human beings through anthropology, other social, spiritual themes, etc., as well as other aspects of life through what we call the natural world. This acquired knowledge is in a way the other end of the telescope: how does it work from the point of view of the Other Side and not that of the material world. Things take a whole different perspective. This is for you to gauge the plausibility of what I am putting forward.
These words are not scientific as such of course, except that I will always try to maintain a basis of rationality in my explanations. They also cannot claim to be 'scientific' in the sense that they cannot be proven at this time or that everything I write can be scientifically verified as such. However, if we consider many scientific fields we can consider the speculative nature of science. New knowledge comes to alter what we believed to be final and to open the limits of what we call "scientific truth". Quantum physics, for example, makes assumptions that are increasingly inaccessible to the layman that challenge scientific certainties that were previously consideredthen like truths. Very little is scientifically sure now. So it should be as well with Darwinism and evolution of species as dictated by this approach. It makes no sense and nothing of it can't be proven and has never been.
This blog is dedicated to all people who want to 'think outside the box' and to those who are looking for sensitive explanations of our presence in this world.
PS If I choose to introduce as the search keywords "suicidal tendency" and "suicide", it is only to try to reach those who are at this stage of their life. The purpose here is to help you understand that your situation or mine or that of anyone else is a construct of the mind that needs to be examined and revised. Suicide will only bring you back here, exactly where you left off ... It is essential that you work on your journey differently. This blog will try to help you see the light at the end of the tunnel.
